So, this week I’ve been really sick, but believe it or not; I have still had a wonderful week. I’ve begun filling out a form for school to prepare for my internship this winter which I’m excited about. Most of my classes were down to one class a day which allowed me to get my rest and not have to worry about my regular homework load. I had friends who were there to help me get feeling better. My garden has started sprouting, and I found some of my lost photography! Overall, I call this week a success.
I was also proud of myself for being positive despite feeling pretty miserable for the last few days. Positivity is something I’ve been thinking about for months now because sometimes it can seem elusive. Over the summer I went to a concert for Lindsey Sterling and Evanescence, something said there really stuck out to me. Lindsey talked about how happiness is about choice.
This past year I’ve really struggled with positivity and had to work to find it again. And sometimes it’s not easy to be happy. When everything is going wrong, it can be hard to see the good or to be grateful for what you have. But, being thankful is important. In fact, sometimes that is all you have. There were times last year where the most joy I would feel came from the flowers growing by the sidewalk or the clouds or even just being glad to have a conversation with someone. It was the moments that I chose to be grateful that I found light in my life. Other than that, things were really dark. But because of the little things and recognizing the people in my life, I was able to have faith that everything would work out.
To me it is easy to lose yourself in everything that is going on whether it’s in your own life or in the news, things are troubling right now. However, a lot of our happiness and hope can depend on where we choose to look. I believe I deserve to be grateful, not only for everything I have but also because I deserve happiness. I believe we all do.
I also believe that sometimes happiness takes time. It’s like a muscle that you have to stretch and build. One day or even one week isn’t going to be enough. For me, the beginning was cutting out negativity from my life, then I began changing my focus until I whittled it down to how I view myself. I looked up positivity exercises and worked to implement them in my life. The process took an entire year before I saw even the smallest change, and there were days that I failed entirely at being positive. Learning to be positive is hard, and it doesn’t come close to fixing everything. Do I still feel down from time to time, most definitely, but it doesn’t control me anymore, and that’s what’s important.